Dear Isabel,
In my church, we learn that someone who dies unbaptized goes to hell. My son has fallen away from our religion, and he and his wife recently had a baby. I am a very happy grandfather, but I’m very upset because they flat-out refuse to baptize their son. I am worried for his soul, and I’m thinking that as soon as I can, I’ll take him to our pastor to be baptized. I know my son won’t allow it if he knows about the plan, so I’m going to do it secretly.
I made the mistake of telling my wife about this, and she says I absolutely should not have our grandson baptized without our son and daughter-in-law’s permission. I normally wouldn’t do anything behind their back, but this is so important that I’m willing to risk their finding out and being angry with me. Do you agree?
Loving Granddad
Dear Granddad,
I’m glad you asked, because your relationship with your son and daughter-in-law, your hopes for a relationship with your grandson as he grows up, and even your relationship with your wife are at stake. No, no, no, you should not baptize this child against his parents’ will.
You are entitled to live by your particular interpretation of Christianity, but I hope you know that many, many others hold that God does not withhold the blessings of heaven from unbaptized infants. It is the belief of most Christians, after all, that God can do anything and has boundless mercy for the innocent. I hope that that will ease your anxiety somewhat.
You know how you love that sweet child? Do you believe that God loves him less? Even if you believe that God wants a particular ritual to be carried out—which, I repeat, you’re entitled to do--do you really think that God would punish him with eternal torment because no adult in his life made sure it was?
I hope that the fact that you wrote to me—instead of just ignoring your wife, son, and daughter-in-law and thousands of Christian preachers and teachers—means that some part of you believes God is bigger than that.
Wishing you well,
Isabel
Next week: In the Bible, the Quran, and other holy books, God speaks directly to people and performs miracles. Why doesn’t that happen anymore?
Good answer. As to next week's question about why God doesn't speak or perform miracles anymore -- the novel *the Warhound and the World's Pain* which I know I have recommended to you, though I don't know if you have read it, answers that question. Not in a way that you could use for this column, but it's still a good answer.