Dear Isabel,
I’ve seen altars in the homes of Chinese-American friends that are so lovely. They have incense, a Buddha, photos of family members, and bowls of food, and I feel like they are a focal point and say something about what is important to the family. I’d like to set up an altar at home as well, but no one ever taught me how. (I’m not Chinese-American.) Where do I start?
A Special Place
Dear Special,
Home altars have been used by people all around the world for thousands of years, and appear in many religions. So you are feeling an urge that many others have felt.
Please do not copy the altars of your Chinese-American friends. Their altars take forms that fit with their religions and ethnic background. What form your altar takes depends on what you hold sacred.
So the first thing to do is spend some time in prayer, meditation, writing, or other process of discernment in order to clarify what that is. What is sacred for you?
That will inspire symbols for your altar. If love is sacred, perhaps what belong there are photos of people you love—or find difficult to love. If a particular deity is sacred, an image that reminds you of that deity. If growth is sacred, perhaps a plant. If darkness, then you may want to drape it with dark cloths. If creativity, you could put a paintbrush on your altar; if seeking, an old road map. With your altar, you are tapping the power of metaphor, so go with the objects, colors, and images that remind you of what is sacred. Metaphor is playful—let that playfulness flow.
The altar itself might be as simple as a shelf hung on the wall, even a cleared-out spot on a bookshelf, or something quite elaborate. Do you want to face a particular direction as you face your altar? This can be significant based on your tradition: for example, Muslims face Mecca and Jews face Jerusalem.
To keep the altar a source of focus and power, people have to interact with it frequently. Have a regular ritual, such as lighting a candle or incense there each day or on a special day of the week. Change the items that are there depending on what intentions you have for the day or season. If it makes sense to you to make an offering, do that. If you are someone who prays, meditates, does yoga, etc., and you can put the altar in a space where you do these things, that’s great.
What I hear in your post is a desire to create a focal point in your home for what is most important to you. I hope you do!
Wishing you well,
Isabel
Next week: I’m marrying into a religious family and already feeling pressure from my in-laws-to-be to be something I’m not